Xigbar and the Nobodies
by thothlover
Summary: Xigbar, Xaldin and Saix have just seen 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' and almost died laughing. A slight hint of yaoi lemon , don't like don't read. Rated M for safety. R&R plz.


Author: Johanna Bella

Title: Xigbar and the Nobodies.

Summary: Xigbar, Xaldin and Saix have just come back to the castle after seeing 'Alvin and the chipmunks' and had found the voices hilarious! The next day they buy a whole lot of helium and helium balloons and snuggle it back to the castle that never was. They hide it in Xaldin's room because Xemnas would just dismiss it as containers of air and balloons full of air. After the Superior himself is done using the PA system for a not so important announcement the three sneak in there and drink up the helium, turn on the PA system and start to sing.

**Xigbar and the Nobodies**

Xigbar, Xaldin and Saix sat in some fluffy seats eating popcorn and drinking soda staring at a wide screen. Xigbar and Xaldin looked at Saix every now and then, for it was rare to see him smile and let alone laugh. But not long into the movie the three were laughing, clutching their stomachs, making strange noises, turning all colors, almost fainting from lack of air and suddenly not in their seats any more. Xaldin was in the air, Xigbar was upside down on the ceiling and Saix, well, he was in all three seats. That's right. They were at the cinema seeing 'Alvin and the chipmunks' and apparently were finding it very hilarious. "I... can't... breathe!" Saix laughed and arched up, so he was in the yoga pose called 'The Bridge' "Dude! I need to... pee!" Xigbar laughed and stomped on the ceiling. Xaldin on the other hand was currently flying around the screen-room making everybody else's popcorn fly around, "Can't... stop!" Xaldin laughed and then fell on Saix's stomach making the Luna Diviner make an 'Oof' sound and force into a sitting position and then Xigbar fell on Xaldin and the three ended falling on the floor in a tangle, just in time for the credits.

"Get... off." Saix struggled, as he was the one tangled at the bottom with Xigbar on top, "Lol, that was fun." "Hehe, yeah it was." "GET OFF!" Saix yelled making the other people run out of the room almost shitting their pants, which made the three laugh even more. "Y'know, it would be funny to be able to talk like those chipmunks." Xigbar said and Saix rolled his eyes, he was being ignored and to top it off the floor was sticky! As he was about to yell again Xigbar and Xaldin got up and so did he, they walked outside brushing off their clothes and fixing them and their hair. "Then tomorrow, let's buy helium balloons and make everyone confused by using the PA system." Xaldin said rubbing his hands evilly like Vexen would when he invented something very evil. The Luna Diviner suddenly found himself being stared at, so he stopped and looked over to number II and III, and yes, they were staring at him smirking. "It oughta be fun." He said and smirked as well. Then the three gave each other high fives.

After a few hours of walking around the castle gardens Xigbar finally spoke, "Ok, we draw straws on who gets to be who. The one who draws the longest straw gets to be Simon, the next longest is Alvin and of course the shortest is Theodore." "Deal." Xaldin and Saix said in union. Xigbar then pulled three different sized toothpicks, which were supposed to be straws in this case and held it out. Xaldin drew one and got the medium one, indicating he'd be Simon. Saix drew one and got the smallest one indicating he'd be Theodore, "Well, I guess then I'm Alvin." Xigbar said proud of himself. Saix pouted, he didn't want to be Theodore! "Aw cheer up Saix. At least you're cute to match him!" Xaldin said and ruffled the Luna Diviner's hair; Xigbar agreed to that and for some reason Saix couldn't help but _feel_ slightly better. "Tomorrow we go buy the balloons and helium! So it's off to bed." The Freeshooter spoke and disappeared.

**The next day**

"Aw, Saix looks cute when he sleeps!" Xigbar whispered and Xaldin nodded, " Yeah, almost like a puppy." The Whirlwind Lancer whispered and the two exchanged looks, "Should we wake him up?" Number III asked, "I don't know, he looks so cute!" Number II squealed and got hit in the back of the head, "Be quiet!" "Why? We are trying to wake him up." "Oh, right." The two blinked and grinned, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Xaldin?" "I think so Xigbar." There was a moment of silence before a loud "DOG PILE!" Was yelled out by the Freeshooter and Saix woke up and then screamed before Xaldin and Xigbar landed on top of him.

Vexen had been walking passed VII's door and had heard the yell and scream so he opened the door, "What's going on in here?" The Chilly Academic asked and then shook his head, "Never mind. Don't tell me." He said and closed the door walking away.

Xigbar, Xaldin and Saix were looking at the door even as it was closed, "I... Can't... Breathe..." The Luna Diviner wheezed out from under the two as he tried to push them off. The Whirlwind Lancer rolled over causing the Freeshooter to fall to the floor headfirst. "Get up lazy bones." Xaldin said and nudged Saix in the shoulder causing the Diviner to whimper out like a puppy, "I don't wanna." He whined and lay back down and pulled the cover over his head. Xigbar rubbed the back of his neck and grinned, held out his hands and spanked the Diviner, making him jump up and attacking him with a pillow and Xaldin was laughing.

A few aches and pains later the three were at the 'Party Store' buying the entire batch of helium tanks and balloons. The shopkeeper was rather shocked that the trio had to wait at least ten minutes before the shopkeeper snapped out of his stupor and ran all the items through. "T-that'll be 2-2000 munny." The poor shopkeeper stuttered and Saix paid the man in full and then the three left leaving a very shocked shopkeeper behind.

"There, now the Superior will think there's sake in here." Xigbar said as he put down the last helium tank on Xaldin's floor. "Let's just hope Luxord doesn't get into it, he might think that too." Saix said and Xaldin snorted, "I doubt it." When that sentence was finished Luxord walked into the room, "Holy shit! That's a lot of sake! Can I have some?" Saix snorted and walked over to Luxord, "No. Get out before I go berserk on your ass!" He growled and without further argument Luxord left. "The man truly is blond." Xigbar muttered and the three chuckled.

"_... That is all."_ Xemnas finished as he turned off the PA system and left the room going to his office to work on his paperwork. "Coast is clear." Xaldin whispered and Xigbar and Saix snuck after him holding everything. They had bought a few more balloons seeing it would be easier to suck the air out of them then to fill the whole damn room with helium. As they set everything up they made sure everyone was in the castle, which could be monitored on the screens in the room. Xemnas had had security cameras installed for safety reasons, mostly because Axel lied all the time about what happened when he wasn't here and so forth. "Good, everyone's here." Xigbar chuckled and rubbed his hands together.

Saix took three balloons and handed one to Xigbar and one to Xaldin, they were so excited about this, and the smile's on their faces was just creepy enough to scare Sephiroth away! They untied the bottoms of the balloons and sucked in the helium and turned on the PA system.

Some strange high-pitched laughing could be heard and then, _"Hello and good evening everyone! Giggle we are here to entertain you with some songs!"_ Xigbar said in his high-pitched voice _"Please sit back and enjoy what we have to offer!"_ Saix said and that earned a laugh from everyone, his voice was funny so high-pitched it sounded almost exactly like Theodore! _"Our first song for the day is..."_ Xaldin began.

Xemnas's head shot up as he heard the PA system being turned back on and then those high-pitched voices! "What in the world is going on?" He asked himself aloud but didn't go anywhere. The Enigmatic Man listened and waited for whatever song those voices were going to sing.

The first song had been 'Funky Town' and sounded rather good and upbeat. The second song had been 'Spacejam' because Xigbar wanted it. The third song had been 'What is love?' the fourth song had been 'I Want Candy' and then there was a small break. The fifth song was on now and it was 'I Love Rock & Roll'.

"_Thank you thank you. And now we are going to play, 'Witch Doctor'!"_ And not long after they started singing. Demyx and Axel and Roxas had been dancing to the songs and had been pretty bummed that it had stopped for a while. Now the three were singing along. Xemnas found it somehow easier to work with the singing going on and so did Vexen who shook his ass and dances along with the songs. Marluxia and his flowers danced along as he watered them. Larxene had left the castle, Luxord was drinking more, and Zexion and Lexaeus were making out in a corner.

"_This is for all you lover's out there and this song is called 'Love Me Tonight'."_ Saix said and managed to sound very creepy but anyway, they started to sing again. _"And here is the last song of the day."_ Xaldin said and rubbed his throat, _"And it's called,"_ Xigbar said and also rubbed his throat; maybe sucking in all that helium had been a bad idea. _"'The Final Countdown'."_ Saix said tiredly and rubbed his throat while yawning. A good long five minutes later they were done and had to hurry to clean everything up and turn off the PA system. They managed to do so successfully in three minutes and had disappeared right before the Superior walked in. He looked around and saw nothing and no one. He shrugged and left the room.

"Never again." Xigbar said as he dropped the helium tanks to the floor "This _was_ **your** idea!" Saix argued back "Indeed it was, but yes, never again." Xaldin finished and dropped his share of tanks and so did Saix. The three then plopped themselves down onto the bed and soon fell asleep. There was a knock on the door and it was Axel, when no answer came he walked in and gasped and sniggered and bit his bottom lip to not laugh. Xigbar and Xaldin had one of their hands on Saix's butt cheeks each and Saix was fast asleep and so were the other two. Quickly Axel went and got his camera and took a picture. "Wow, that's a lot of sake." He said to himself as he noted the helium tanks and shook his head and left.


End file.
